Well, I am back from France, which was a great time and experience. Now back to the real world and in the swing of school. It feels good to be back in a schedule and am transitioning back into a day person.
I did feel like writing about the recent attention that depression is getting in the media and pop culture with the suicide attempt of celebrity Owen Wilson. I am a huge fan of his from Bottle Rocket to the Royal Tenenbaums (I don’t think I spelled that right), which even dealt with depression in a dark comedy way. There was an article in the New York Times this weekend about Wilson and the fact that in a culture where going to rehab is trendy and we live in a Prozac nation, the real problem of deep-rooted depression is not spoken of and embarrassing. Sure, we all know people who take anxiety pills and meds for depression but they are not the kind of depressed that will end in pills like lithium and suicide attempts and hospitals. We especially can’t accept someone we deem “normal” like a funny celebrity to have such extreme problems.
At 29, I have dealt with a lot of unconventional things and depression is one of them. Not even just depression but the scary diagnosis of bipolar disorder, otherwise known as Manic Depression. A real scary word to share even with close friends, it adds a whole other level to depression. After my experience in downtown Manhattan on 9/11 I suffered from Post Traumatic Stress, which lead to my diagnosis of Bipolar. I then overdosed on my many pills in 2003 after not thinking I could handle life anymore. When I woke up a couple days later in a hospital I could not figure out which was worse but it motivated me to start to try to get better and get better help. That is simplifying it a LOT and that is the short version. I was able to get better with the help of a wonderful therapist and doctors and medication. But I was not OVER medicated and maintain a level of strong medications that keep me balanced and I have to work at taking care of myself and putting my needs first. That is another reason I made so many changes as of the last year and a half. I am also trying to take the stigma away by talking about it and maybe that is just for me but I have not seemed to scare anyone away yet.
I have done some work with a great organization called The Icarus Project www.theicarusproject.net . The project points out that Bipolar is a dangerous gift that affects many different people and also has a very strong online support network. The flip side to the depression is usually creativity and over achievement. I am not claiming either but I am different in a lot of great ways. I helped TIP get an information table at the last Ani DiFranco concert here in NYC and spoke openly about my life with Bipolar and was thrilled when people shared their experience with depression and Bipolar and other mental differences. It was very positive.
So, Owen Wilson is an overachiever and human, dealing with normal problems that many other people deal with. I wonder how he will deal with the media attention. Will he speak publicly about his life or keep it a private matter. I can’t image going through that with the media everywhere. The one thing I did like to see was his whole family come to his side.
